Sunday, December 17, 2006

bad christmas music

It's been a busy day, finishing up Christmas preparations. Although I usually listen to my own holiday music collection at all times (iTunes while on the computer, and my iPod at work), I do occasionally venture into other sources. In the car, for example, I listen to Sirius satellite radio, which has three of its channels dedicated to holiday music now. It is on one of these channels driving home last night that I have discovered a truly dreadful Christmas song.

Now, I think most Christmas music is good. Some of it is great, and a fair deal of it is downright classic. But every once in a while, a song will just completely rub me the wrong way. A few years ago, it was "Kentucky Homemade Christmas" by Kenny Rogers. I still think it's awful. And with the exception of "O Come All Ye Faithful," the late, great, legendary crooner, Luther Vandross --in my opinion -- murdered every holiday song he touched. There's one song that, in addition to having ridiculous introductory banter ("the last time you got me under the mistletoe, I had twins!") and being just a bad song in general, has the unfortunate title of "Mistletoe Jam." Take the "mistle" out and what do you get? Toe jam. What an appealing holiday image!

So, what is the newest menace to the holiday spirit? "The Christmas Shoes" by NewSong. I think it's actually a few years old, and I've just had the good fortune to have avoided it until now.

Oh, the horror! So horrible, in fact, that I must post it here for you to witness. If I had to listen to this train wreck, so do you. Press the button! Press it, I say!

I'm listening to a real song and preparing to get some sleep. To all, a good night.

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by the Pretenders


Michelle said...

I've gotta call you on this one. I can't imagine why you dislike this song! Compassion? Gotta have it to like this one. We just lost a friend last week... right before Christmas. I can totally connect with this song. Just seeing the little boy cry on his mom's chest about killed me.

Phyllis said...


Yesterday I download Luther Vandross whole Christmas CD. I must say I don't really like all ten of the songs. But, out of the ten I do like about eight of then. But, this is American we do had that right. It's really hard for Luther Vandross to do a bad song. But, it can happen. But, overall I do love the Christmas CD. I play it most of the day. Luther Vandross had over 300 songs on iTune and I'm should out of those 300 songs you are not going to like all of them. This the first time that I took the time to listen and download Luther Vandross Christmas CD, and I do like about eight of the ten songs. It's Luther Vandross it really hard not to like anything he sing.


30 Something Girl said...

I have one to add to the list. Mariah Carey... I don't like her and I hate her song (she's just so blhahahhahahah)

kellycoxsemple said...

Who knew I'd touch such a nerve with this little rant?

Michelle, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My point was not so much about the song itself as the sad story wrapped in the context of Christmas. I know it's naive and probably downright infantile, but a significant part of Christmas music's appeal for me is that it is joyful. I'm all about the celebration, and this song pulls harsh reality into my otherwise blissfully ignorant enjoyment.

Phyllis, I'm glad you enjoy the Luther Vandross Christmas CD. As you say, to each his (or in our case HER) own!

30-something, I actually have a distinct opinion on both Mariah Carey and the song "All I Want for Christmas is You." When Mariah first arrived on the music scene, her introductory song was one called "Vision of Love." I don't know if you're familiar with it or not, but I believed then -- and still do to this day -- that it is one of the best written pop songs I've ever heard. Her performance is flawless, and she even wrote the song herself.

Then I bought her album, and was hugely disappointed by everything else on it. I actually returned it (something I've only ever done twice -- the other was Ratt!). Her career then started to churn out hit after hit, and I found myself not only NOT liking the songs, but really developing a deep, almost intentional loathing for the performer. Very unlike me, but Ms. Carey brought that out!

Until her Christmas song came out. Now, I'm not really into holiday songs that stray too far from the Christmas/New Year/winter theme, and those that venture into romance territory can be annoying (see Luther Vandross rant). But this song is just so upbeat, I find it irresistable. So, despite my overall disdain for her, I actually like her Christmas song. Now, if it's Ms. Carey herself that you just can't get past (which I completely understand), try listening to Olivia Olson's version of the song. She sang it wonderfully in the move "Love Actually" at the tender age of 11.

Anyone else want to chat about their least favorite holiday music? C'mon! You know you want to!

Merry Christmas, all. By the way, the song playing right now from my iTunes library is a lovely version of "Deck the Halls" by Ottmar Liebert.