cirque du soleil

On advice of a friend, I looked into the CDS show coming to Boston this summer. Having never seen a live show, I thought maybe it was time. Imagine my quite pleasant surprise when, having been forwarded an email from said friend, I was greeted by this lovely ladybug. From the tidbits of CDS shows I have seen on television, all involved were slender, lithe, athletic bodies contorting to everyone's delight and amazement. This ladybug is fabulous! Not slender, and fabulous! Even if there's padding involved, it appears to be for the purpose of enhancing this character, not making fun of it.

We're going to see OVO in August.

tchaikovsky would be proud

This is my little friend, Alia. For Christmas*, we gave her a kit of unadorned wooden nutcrackers along with a paint set. Without any direction, and with amazing determination and drive, she had completed them all in less than two days. Zoom in on this picture. They have handlebar mustaches. It's all very cool.

* We celebrated Christmas with Alia's family weekend before last. Three previous attempts had to be rescheduled for various reasons. If you're wondering, yes, it's fun to have Christmas in almost-March.

it's slipping away...

The muses are gone. Even the part-time one, who inspires meek anecdotes and easy YouTube embeddings. I'd hoped that this lovely lady sketched by Deeleigh over at Well Rounded might be enough to stir the lazy muses from their slumber. Alas, not. Or not yet -- not that I have it in me to wait around for it.

It's easy to say that available free time has decreased now that I'm well into a real, full-time job again. Especially given the depth to which my subconscious is submerged in my new industry (I have dreams about huge kettles full of cooking fruit, tiny jars packed with delectable condiments, and Excel spreadsheets brimming with pricing formulas. Every day. No, really... every day. Without exception. For coming-up-on half a year.) But I managed to shake the muses loose with reasonable frequency when previously employed in a real, full-time job. What's different this time?

There's no answer to that question, because the muses, well, they've taken leave. Even the second shift one whose sole responsibility is making excuses.

It's not for lack of topics.

* Family... ah, family
* Friends (present, past, former [different from 'past'], and maybe even future)
* A new president
* The wild (and barely tolerable) winter weather
* My rapidly growing dissatisfaction with our living quarters
* The single song I play repeatedly despite having a library of over 20,000 songs
* Poems that make me ache
* Cute cats
* Messy storage units
* A highly successful venture into making meatloaf
* Problems whose aching manifests as bouts of hives
* The sweetness in the world
* The overload of everything in the world
* The year of the landmark high school reunion
* A thick skull that remembers less and seems to only grudgingly adapt
* The imminent demise of one of my favorite size acceptance blogs
* Newly updated lists
* File boxes that look organized from the outside
* Unread books gathering dust
* The burden of truths that can never be shared

This could go on forever. Not actually writing anything interesting or insightful. Just listing the general topics. I've got this one song on repeat on my iPod so as not to wake up Ted. It's 58 degrees in here, and despite my fluffy slippers and layers of long fleece, my toes are cold. And once again, I've escaped the potential for a full night's sleep by rambling about nothing until the calendar turns.

What's the point?

And so with that, I suspect that sanguinary blue will likely come to an end. Not following Paul's suit. I've floated the idea before. Now I just need the overly pert motivation muse to kick me in the ass so I'll actually take the site down.

I'm elsewhere in the ether. One way or another, I can be reached if need be. Good night.

elephant

This is amazing. Follow the link, and spend the 8½ minutes. Completely wonderful. More info here.

len rocks my socks

Stephen does, too.

the photoshop world we live in

The March 10th issue of Time Magazine has a brief article about the importance of youthful appearance in the job market. The web version of this article isn't quite the assault to my senses that the hard copy version is, because it's missing the graphic that goes along with it.

In it, a snappily dressed man stands on one side, and a smartly outfitted woman on the other. The center title says, "New Ways to Tap into The Fountain of Youth." Neither of these people look even remotely old (must be because they've tapped that fountain). The suggestions include the following:

For the man
* Tooth-lengthening
* Butt lift and implants
* Neck tuck
* Knee-tightening

For the woman
* Hair restoration
* Earlobe repair
* Stiletto surgery
* Extreme hand makeover

The ones that stand out for me are the stiletto surgery ("...heels remain part of the dress code at the office"), the hand makeover ("knobby, spotted hands say old lady"), and the knee-tightening ("skin and cellulite pool around the knees -- unsightly at the gym").

Ack!

This article is chock full of ideas for making yourself look younger. Not a single word refers to how any of these procedures will make you healthier, just more attractive. After all, it is entitled "How Not to Look Old on the Job." But here's the kicker. Despite its obvious and complete focus on appearances, the article is listed in the "Health" category.

ACK!

Then, I have the TV on to catch the weather forecast, when a bra commercial comes on. I'm actually just listening to the TV while going through morning routine, and at first, it sounds like a typical bra commercial. Soft, flowy music, and a sultry voice exhorting her beauty secrets. But then some words start to penetrate my subconsciousness. "...revolutionary concealing petals for complete modesty." This brings me back to the day when I worked at a women's clothing store, and we had a customer who wanted to know if we carried bras that would hide her n1pples*. I'm thinking that "concealing petals" have something to do with that (a quick TiVo rewind verifies it).

But then, another kicker: "Feel confident and look flawless in every moment." Um, excuse me? Having n1pples* is a flaw? Wow, are we as a gender in trouble. Wait. Men have n1pples* too. No, I know. I get it. Having n1pples* that dare show themselves is the flaw. Even though it's safe to assume that, for most women, they already have at least two layers of fabric over said rebellious areolae.

AAAACCCCKKKKKKK!

Can't... speak... any... more... choking... urrgghhh........

* Updated to change the correct spelling of the referenced body part because some people are finding their way to my blog by searching for things about which I am NOT talking.

onslaught

mmm... donuts!

When I first heard that there was going to be a "Simpsons" movie, I was fairly indifferent about it. I'd watched the show once in a while in its early days and would occasionally run across it thereafter, but I never made it a point to watch it regularly. Oddly enough, one of my favorite quotes is from the show (whenever I'm impatient with slow technology, I conjure up Homer heating up a hot dog in a microwave and loudly bemoaning, "Isn't there anything faster than a microwave?").

In the last couple weeks, I've seen several trailers for the movie, and I admit, I really want to see it now! I'm looking forward to "Spider Pig." This morning, I discovered this website, and now I'm really excited. I created my own Simpsons avatar (see left). Pretty good resemblance, don't you think? Well, except that I only ever wear skirts (there was only one option for pants).

There's a definite trend in my avatars. First, my blog profile picture. Then my Meez character. And now Kelly Cox Simpson. Although I must say, this is the first time I've been able to endow my avatar with Rubenesque proportions -- something I've been frustratingly unable to do before now.

By the way, did I mention that I'm going to have Nick Arrojo cut my hair again? I must be insane! This will be the last time, really. After this, I would have to travel 250 miles to get to Arrojo Studio. Too far!

All right, I have a boatload of things to do today. Only 34 days until everything in our life is completely different. Details to follow. Someday.

being real

"Common-looking people are the best in the world; that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.” - Abraham Lincoln

kirstie alley is full of shit

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have admired Oprah Winfrey for many years. I am particularly enamoured with her philanthropic work, although her determination to overcome adversity and become the architect of her own massive success is also quite admirable. In the last couple years, though, the sheen has worn off as she more frequently and enthusiastically embraces the superficial on her show (and in her magazine, which I stopped reading about a year ago). More importantly, I am deeply disappointed when she exhorts to her millions of fans -- many of whom hang on her every word -- that emulating said superficialities will improve their lives.

She embodies contradiction. And she should know better.

Building schools for girls in Africa improves lives. Rebuilding homes in the Gulf Coast improves lives. Allowing audience members to help their communities with the aid of $1000 debit cards improves lives. Increasing the literacy of millions of otherwise bookless TV zombies improves lives. She knows these things: she's done them all and more.

So, when she spends a ridiculous amount of time over a couple years glorifying Kirstie Alley's weight loss extravaganza, I have to wonder a couple things. First, how is she able to conveniently forget her own experience with years of yo-yo dieting? Second, how much money is Jenny Craig, Inc. paying to have their name sprinkled so liberally on one of daytime TV's most watched television shows? Third, in the year 2012, what will the Oprah show episode be like when Kirstie comes back to wage her next inevitable battle of the bulge?

Oprah is guilty of perpetuating the false hope that weight loss is possible (when 95% of the time, it's not), and that it solves all of life's problems (when 100% of the time, it does not). So when I started to watch yesterday's TiVo'd Oprah show -- the one highlighting Ms. Alley's bikini entrance -- I deleted it after only watching the first few minutes. Thinking I'd done my duty for Size Acceptance by rejecting the show outright, I moved on to the computer to check email and read some news.

But there she was again. I might have let the whole thing slide were it not for this article. In it, Ms. Alley simultaneously flaunts her newly-svelte body and claims she's not defined by it.

"I think women -- I don't think we ever feel like we're good enough. We don't feel like we're thin enough or pretty enough or smart enough or work hard enough. And we are good enough... . The bikini thing is neither here nor there, other than the fact, you know, I am 55 years old. So I thought -- come on, we are all good enough. And we look good enough. And we are not our bodies." - Kirstie Alley

Hogwash. Poppycock. Balderdash.

How is it possible to say you're good enough after spending two years chastising yourself in a veritable media blitz? It's not. It's all horseshit. Bullshit. Publicity. And the happy "look, I lost weight and look fabulous and YOU SHOULD TOO!" routine is just one more hammer banging away in a universe of hammers that pound the message that thin=happy+healthy and fat=unhappy+unhealthy and there's nothing in the middle. It doesn't matter that nothing in life is that straightforward.

And I again dissolve into the continuation I don't have the time or energy to follow-through on. So, I'll end tonight's rant on a note mentioned before in this space. John Tierney of the New York Times wrote a nice piece called "Fat and Happy" that mentioned this great concept identified by George Armelagos, an anthropologist at Emory University. Speaking of popular preference for body types, he calls the relatively recent desire for thinness the "King Henry VIII and Oprah Winfrey Effect." This is how it's explained:

"In Tudor England, it took hundreds of gardeners, farmers, hunters and butchers to keep Henry VIII fat. In America today, anyone can bulk up without help, but it takes a new set of vassals - personal trainer, nutritionist, private chef - to keep Oprah from looking like Henry VIII."

warped

I don't know which is worse -- the lengths to which the beauty industry goes to create an unrealistic image presented as the ideal, or some of the idiotic comments that follow this clip on the YouTube page.



Today is Love Your Body Day. I say, love it every day.

the men of television

I should probably be reading the stack of books that continues to accumulate in my section of our library. Or even, less esoterically, the pile of entertainment rags adorning the coffee table. Instead, there are a few television shows that have really caught my attention. Bones, a carryover from its first season last year, is still a favorite. And I just love the new Sci-Fi Channel series, Eureka. I haven't missed an episode.

Alas, there is a bigger quandary. The leading men of these shows are the unwitting participants in a fantastical duel for my attention. Move over, Dr. McDreamy (I've never seen one minute of Grey's Anatomy), Sheriff Carter and Agent Booth are here!

Sure, they're easy on the eyes; handsome in conventional ways. But there's more there there. Could it be the man in uniform phenomenon? Nah, the FBI guy just wears a suit. It's more that. They're both funny. And smart. With warmth that just exudes from what is undoubtedly their own personalities.

OK, so they're well-written characters portrayed by good actors... who just happen to be seriously hunky. A third clearly in the running -- although too skinny to earn this last descriptor -- is Dr. Gregory House. He is the king of well-written, well-acted, and he's sexy in that I-know-he's-really-got-a-British-accent-under-that-American-one way. Scrawny, really, but funny.

"Is this an intervention? You're a little late since I'm not using drugs anymore. I am, however, still hooked on phonics."

But all three of them are really funny. When Jack's daughter, Zoe, grabbed a wheat grass for herself and scolded her father for drinking too much coffee, his response was, "I'll stop drinking caffeine when you stop drinking the lawn."

Why am I blogging about this? Perhaps it's because I'm dealing with the anxiety of Eureka's season finale. It's just wrong for a show to END at the beginning of October! But hey, Mr. Monk left me weeks ago. I'll just have to suffice with my favorite FBI Agent, the cranky Doctor, and iTunes downloads (and SciFi webisodes) of the Sheriff for now.

kudos to kim barto

Ms. Barto wrote this editorial for the Asheville Citizen-Times and hits several nails on their heads. Thank you, Kim, for saying succinctly and eloquently that which many people have struggled to encapsulate (of course, I'm referring to myself here).

Here. I'll save you needing to click the link.

The American obsession with weight loss is unrealistic; moreover, it’s also harmful

by Kim Barto
CITIZEN-TIMES.com (Asheville, NC)
September 14, 2006

You won’t believe this, but Spain’s top fashion show recently rejected models for being too thin. That’s right—somewhere in hell, a snowball is having the last laugh.

The show’s organizers told the Associated Press that they want to encourage an image of health and beauty instead of emaciation. Hopefully, this unprecedented action will start a trend. As long as the starvation look is in vogue, millions of women and men will suffer from disorders such as anorexia and bulimia.

America is obsessed with dieting, and it’s taking a toll. The country that invented the fast-food greaseburger has now seen the rate of eating disorders double since the 1960s, according to the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Up to 60 percent of high school girls diet, and even more worry about their weight.

The Eating Disorders Coalition estimates that millions of Americans are diagnosed annually, and anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Worse, the patients keep getting younger. Something is deeply wrong with a society that fosters self-loathing in seven-year-old girls.

The problem is the prevailing attitude that equates thinness with good health and happiness. Combine this with a grossly distorted view of what is normal, and it’s no wonder that so many people hate their bodies.

In reality, a wide variety of body types are normal, depending on one’s bone structure, metabolism and genetics. It is fruitless and misleading to expect everyone to conform to the same weight. Whether you are naturally muscular, chunky, twiggy, curvy or tiny, trying to change your body can be frustrating and even dangerous.

When people try to make the body thinner than it is genetically programmed to be, it retaliates by becoming ravenous and vulnerable to binge eating, according to ANRED (Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders), a nonprofit organization against eating disorders.

Ninety-eight percent of dieters regain all the weight they manage to lose, plus about 10 extra pounds, within five years.

The editors of the New England Journal of Medicine concluded in 1998 that, “(s)ince many people cannot lose much weight no matter how hard they try and promptly regain whatever they do lose, the vast amount of money spent on diet clubs, special foods and over-the-counter remedies, estimated to be on the order of $30 billion to $50 billion yearly, is wasted.”

There is no magic pill to keep weight off, no matter what the advertisers would have you believe.

Those that are effective are only minimally so, and they often carry serious health risks. Remember Fen-Phen?

What a paradox, that dieting should be such a lucrative industry in a country with such high obesity rates. Someone is obviously profiting from fat phobia in a big way. Take a nation of insecure people, bombard them with images of impossible beauty standards, and they will greet the latest fad with open wallets.

Couldn’t those billions of dollars be better spent? Instead of trying to buy happiness, think of all the good that money could do if diverted to cancer research or stamping out hunger.

Rather than focusing on weight loss at any cost, we should aim for good health at any size. Too many dieters harm their bodies and psyches by skipping meals, purging and popping pills in the quest for skinniness. We should eat for nutrition and well-being, not solely to lose weight. Amidst all the deprivation and guilt associated with eating, we often forget that fresh, simple food is a joy in itself.

Likewise, our use of language reinforces the idea of exercise as a punishment for the body. Instead of saying “feel the burn” or “no pain, no gain,” try “feel good.”

Exercising releases serotonin, the brain chemical that causes you to feel happy. Find an activity that you enjoy, be it swimming, cycling or salsa dancing — it doesn’t have to be a torture session on the Stairmaster.

When you make time to be active, feel your body growing stronger and stay away from the scale. Movement is supposed to be fun. If you doubt this, go outside with your kids, assuming they’re not video game addicts, and watch them play tag in the backyard.

Better yet, join them!

America needs a change in mindset — let’s embrace diversity of size and question the source of our insecurities. Find the weight that’s healthy for you, individually, without comparing yourself to the skeletal models on TV. Life is too short to hate your body.

Kim Barto is a senior at the UNCA majoring in photography with minors in mass communication and French. She also works in human resources for the U.S. Forest Service. Her columns appear on alternate Thursdays. Horray for Kim!

my brush with fame

My sweet and clever husband, on our anniversary last October, bestowed upon me a wonderful gift. At the time, it was intangible; no box, no ribbon, just a promise. Ever since then, I have savored the idea of it. How many gifts can be so fulfilling for so long (almost seven months!) without actually existing?

Well, today, that gift became reality. Today, Nick Arrojo cut my hair. I know of Nick through TLC's show "What Not to Wear." We've been fans of the show since it started, and have always had an appreciation for the way Nick is able to fix even the worst hair foibles. I never dreamed that Ted would be so inspired by this little TV show to think to get me into Nick's salon!

Seeing as Ted was willing to spend the money on the haircut, I ponied up the cash for the color. Naturally, I ended up buying some "product," too. Figure in tips, and all totaled, we spent more money on my hair today than I spend in two years. But I had an absolutely tremendous time -- and I love my new hair! Nick was great. If we win the lottery, I'll go back to Arrojo Studio every six weeks. Until then, this was a fun, once-in-a-lifetime experience.

love thyself