tick tick tick tick

so true!

joy nash for president

She beat me to the punch. For years, I've had a long list of size acceptance ideas accumulating as Word files on my computer. You know, the things I was someday going to spend a long, dedicated amount of time writing in some epic essay or even a book. My lifestyle has not accommodated such a desire, and instead I end up with the occasional blog entry which touches on one or two aspects of the topic.

But I'd been eager to (eventually) address this particular angle -- the one to which Joy has now beat me. Oh, I don't begrudge her. Because hers was far more effective than mine ever would be. How do I know that? Because she uses humor, video, and costumes to draw attention. I had this graphic all ready to go:

It's not easy to see, but it's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Yeah, it's a show-stopper. Anyway, I learned about it in high school, and always thought it was fascinating (and spot on). In the evolution of my personal size acceptance, I always came back to Maslow. Every person on the planet has a physiological need to eat. And breathe, and sleep, and a whole bunch of other things. Verbatim:

* oxygen
* water
* protein
* salt
* sugar
* calcium
* other minerals and vitamins
* maintain a pH balance (getting too acidic or base will kill you)
* maintain temperature (98.6 or near to it)
* be active
* rest
* sleep
* get rid of wastes (CO2, sweat, urine, and feces)
* avoid pain
* have sex

So, why is that -- somewhere along the line -- society decided to demonize so many physical necessities?

Anyway, I'm going to stop that discussion now because it's far less alluring than watching Ms. Nash tear it up in style! Go watch it again. And check out her blog, too.

storius interruptus

OK, so I only got out one chapter of my story, and already I'm changing subjects! Actually, I've starting writing chapter two, but I just haven't had the time to finish. I could finish it now, but a few shiny objects flickered, and my attention has been caught! Is it because I already dread the drudgery of writing what will undoubtedly be a gazillion chapter explanation of what's new in our lives and what got us to this point? Perhaps. Is it mere instinctual behavior to be more interested in something new (and shiny) than something middle-aged and simmering? Hmm. Maybe it's just a complete lack of mental structure. Whatever. My eye is now on the shiny ball.

So, first. One! If you weren't already aware, it's only



Yes, that's right! Christmas! As you know, I'm a year 'round Christmas shopper. I'm nearly done, and I have my list ready to finish shopping (yes, that's right, finish) this weekend. Then, Monday is a holiday from my primary job (which will be detailed in an upcoming chapter of the original, derailed story), and so I'm spending the day putting together the "stockings" for the kids and wrapping all the rest. It will probably take me 14 hours. No, I'll be lucky if it only takes me 14 hours. OK, so I probably won't finish wrapping on Monday, but I'm going to make a hell of a dent. I'm imposing myself on Rina, her family, and her house as my Christmas Central location this year. A decision she's likely regret by Columbus Day lunchtime.

Two! Dearingest, darlingest niece, Caitlin, has posted a unique meme on her MySpace in which I feel compelled to engage. It's music-based (natch), so of course I'm in. Here goes:

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your music library
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool

Opening Credits: "Isolation" by Snow Patrol

Waking Up: "Screen" by Brad

First Day At School: "The Wind" by Cat Stevens

Falling In Love: "How Far to Queensland" by Vitamin Z

Fight Song: "Legs" by ZZ Top

Breaking Up: "Blueberry Pies" by Prefab Sprout

Prom: "Peer Gynt Suite" by Edvard Grieg

Life: "Can't Nobody Do Me Like Jesus" by Olabelle

Mental Breakdown: "Frosty the Snowman" by Dan Tyminski

Driving: "Gentle Hum" by The Finn Brothers

Flashback: "Star" by Belly

Getting Back Together: "Cerca de Mi" by Raul Midon and Louie Bega

Wedding: "Hands Clean" by Alanis Morrisette

Birth of Child: "Eastern Bloc" by Thomas Dolby

Final Battle: "Killer" by Seal

Death Scene: "Call Me When You Get This" by Corinne Bailey Rae

Funeral Song: "Dreamin'" by Amos Lee

End Credits: "Runnin'/Brazilian Rhyme" by Earth Wind & Fire

OK, that was totally weird. As much as I want to go into the details of how some songs completely suited their role ("Blueberry Pies") and others completely didn't (Grieg at the prom!), I'm now officially too tired to do so. That situation has also led me to this point:

Three! I don't remember what else I was going to put in here tonight. Um, I mean, this morning. Oh well! I have to go to bed. It's almost time for Ted to wake up and get to work. I may or may not get some blogging in this weekend. I doubt it. Shopping, wrapping, etc. to do. And we're going out to dinner for our anniversary. And there's other stuff to do. Yeah, I'll blog again sometime in 2009 -- the year my nephew, Andrew, is getting married. Hey, Four! Andrew and Peg are engaged! He was funny. He called me and said gloomily, "Hi Aunt Kelly. I just wanted to let you know that things changed over the weekend, and Peg is no longer my girlfriend." But I was on to him. ;-)

All right. Sleep!

Song: "The Pretender" by Foo Fighters
Book: What's a book? What's reading? Am I even literate anymore?
Other: "Scattered" is one of my favorite adjectives when referencing current brain status.

chapter one: the synopsis

OK, I guess I've left this whole mysterious life change thing go for long enough. It's not possible for me to write it all down at once (and trust me, you wouldn't want to read it all at once). Plus, it's 2:18am as I start it, so the story will be told in chapters.

By way of explanation for the life-change inspiration, here is one of my famous nutshells for Chapter One:

December 6, 2006: We are "served papers" by the landlord, indicating that he's turning the building condo. This is neither a surprise nor an urgency. Just official news that there is a real end date as to when we have to move (because there's no way we're buying!).

December 11, 2006: I find out that my work department -- and by extension, my job -- will be eliminated as of January 1, 2007.

January 5, 2007: I take Ted to the ER. He's way sick. Spends 16 days in the hospital. Amazes the medical staff by walking in the door with pulse ox of 30.

Sometime around January 8th (I had a lot going on), I realized that those were the three things. You know, the bad things that come in threes. Yep, I could rock on my heels, confident that I'd recognized them.

As daunting as it was, I -- ever the optimist -- believed that things would soon get better because the three things had occurred. Now, we could get around to making good stuff happen. In fact, a lot has transpired since then. I'll save the next set of details for Chapter Two. It's time for bed.

laugh

wisdom

Too often, we are scared.
Scared of what we might not be able to do.
Scared of what people might think if we tried.
We let our fears stand in the way of our hopes.
We say no when we want to say yes.
We sit quietly when we want to scream.
And we shout with the others,
when we should keep our mouths shut.
Why?
After all,
we do only go around once.
There's really no time to be afraid.
So stop.
Try something you've never tried.
Risk it.
Enter a triathlon.
Write a letter to the editor.
Demand a raise.
Call winners at the toughest court.
Throw away your television.
Bicycle across the United States.
Try bobsledding.
Try anything.
Speak out against the designated hitter.
Travel to a country where you don't speak the language.
Patent something.
Call her.
You have nothing to lose
and everything
everything
everything to gain.

there's always time for cute

TBTWN. ML. P.* Some cute to tide you over for now.


* Too busy to write now. More later. Promise.

blogger shake 3

This is getting downright silly. Why isn't Blogger showing my posts?!?

cars as murder weapons

Usually, I think I'm pretty accepting. At a very basic, golden rule level, if I want people to accept me as I am, then it is an absolute must that I accept people as they are. That said, people can be amazingly stupid.

I can pretty much brush off the jerkwad who nearly crashed into me by changing lanes without looking over his shoulder to see me in his blind spot. I slammed on my brakes and the horn at the same time, and everything in my car went flying forward. Thankfully, it was just my purse (and all its contents, individually), a couple of letters, some paperwork, and a shower curtain liner. Oh, and my not unsubstantial body being herked ahead while simultaneously being restrained by a insta-magically locking seat belt. An unpleasant experience, but no paint exchange.

That pales in comparison to the idiotic woman who left her dog in her car while she went shopping at a non-essential store (the kind of place where you only shop when you have spare money). It was 85 degrees Fahrenheit today with incredibly high humidity. She cracked the windows, but that doesn't make enough difference. The poor dog was panting, barking, and scratching at the door and window to get out.

I called 911.

Yes, I did.

I explained that it was an animal emergency but I didn't have the number for the SPCA. The man on the line was very understanding and patched me through to the local police. I explained to him, and he also did not chastise me for calling about a dog. In fact, he asked for the license plate number and wanted to know if an officer should call me to follow-up.

The woman came out of the store while I was on the phone with the police. She opened the car door, bent down and petted the dog, closed the car door again, and went back into the same store.

Is it just me? Or doesn't every person on the planet know that a hot car -- even one with its windows cracked -- can literally fry/bake/cook the brain of a dog (or any other living creature)? Who are these people who don't have any good sense whatsoever? And why are they allowed to have pets? I think all people should be required to take a test which includes questions about leaving animals in cars on hot days with the windows cracked, and if they get the answer wrong, they are not allowed to have any pets.

Rant over. I have work to do.

Stupid people. ::mumble, mumble::

this day should scare me silly

As of today, both Ted and I are unemployed. Interestingly, I'm not in the complete panic one might associate with a total lack of income. That's because we've spent over a year preparing to be in this position. So the fact that we've arrived at this day means that we are very close to our next step. I'm still keeping the details to a minimum at this point, but here are a few hints.

Some things we're getting rid of:

The Teddy bear I received from, ahem, Ted -- Christmas before last. He came with a box of Godiva chocolate (hence the "Godiva 2005" embroidered on his foot). He is holding the pink paper umbrella that was in the Mai Tai I drank with my Cheeseburger in Paradise on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu in January 2004. I'm still debating whether or not to get rid of the window fan behind them.

Some things we're keeping:

Sadie, of course. Her favorite pink afghan (which has moved off her favorite hammock and onto the desk last week when the vent was blowing particularly cold air), although I may try to remove its coat of fur. The speakerphone we got when we lived in Seattle.

A corner of the place where the stuff we're keeping will go:


Our new home. Of course, the only thing you can tell from this picture is that it has lots of nice wood, natural light, and old fashioned radiators. Details to follow in September.

That's it for now. I don't know if my vagueness is tantalizing or just annoying. Leave me a comment. Let me know. :-)

no, i'm not dead

Just busily preparing for and dealing with multiple major life changes which are occurring simultaneously and requiring my complete attention without cease. The mere notion of creating even a very high level list to explain my blog absence brings on the sensation of fainting. I can't do it.

You'll just have to be patient and believe that eventually I will return. And I'll have some stories to tell when I do. I'm just too deep in the middle of them all now to have any perspective.